Day 6

Seek Sacred in the Ordinary

Task:Find evidence of the sacred in your garden, or in your neighborhood, or on your street. What about this ordinary place is extraordinary?

So in accomplishing this task, all I had to do was look at my back yard, and I was left breathless. I am so blessed.

Day 4 & 5

Try not to Panic and Pay attention

Today and yesterday I had to task:
1. Do something without expecting recognition for it and,
2. Notice a miracle in your everyday surroundings.


So,
Yesterday I handed it all to God. I decided that everything I did I would do for him and amazing things happened. I have never been thanked so many times in my life.

And today
I looked around and noticed one most amazing thing:
My family has taken me back even after all the stuff I've done.

I love my life

Day 3

"Be Kind"

Today it just talked a lot about how people must be kind to each other. By doing this we can "help drive some of the darkness out of the world."I thought it was beautiful. I had a rough day.

Day 2

"Go into All Four Rooms"

In life you are given for rooms they are: a physical, a mental, an emotional and a spiritual room.
It says in my book that people generally linger in one room most of the time. But it also says that unless we air out each room everyday we are not a complete person.

Task:"Assess the condition of your four rooms. Which one looks like you visit is regularly? Which one needs airing out?"So I thought about this task.....A LOT today. Where do i spend most of my time...the sadest part...my conclusion..physical. I hate that. I mean, yes, at times it is necessary to be there but life is not based on physical things.

Sooooooooooooo. What will I do to change this..well obviously open the doors and windows to my other three rooms. I decided I need to do the most cleaning in the spiritual and emotional room. I've havent been in the spiritual room in ages, and I need to clean out all the baggage from the emotional room. LUCKILY! Today I threw out a ton of my emotional baggage. So yay me.

A New Day: Day 1

Starting today I'll be writing a note everyday. I'm reading a book called 100 Ways to Keep Your Soul Alive. Everyday it gives you a new task. I'll be writing about how I act out these things....

So here;s to the Future, Here's to the Now, and Here's to growing and learning more about myself.

Day 1:Task: "Live in this Moment." "Do something competely on the spur of the moment today, without thinking about past experiences or future consequences.

So what did I do...I made deviled eggs, which I haven't done in forever, but I have been craving them. So I just made them.I also let go of something from my past that I have been clinging to, but I dont need it anymore.

Now I need to find myself, I need happiness.

God said "My name is I am." Not "I was," Not "I will be," but "I Am."

"When you live in the past, with its mistakes and regrets it is hard. I am not there. My name is not 'I was.'

When you live in the future, with its problems and fears it is hard. I am not there. My name is not 'I will be.'

When you live in this moment, it is not hard. I am here. My name is 'I am'"So this is me now. I am laying it all out. I am finding myself by finding God.

Tired

I need a break. I'm tired.

poems

1.
In a perplexed state he wanders,
He is through with all these games,
For he has played far to long.
This tranquil feeling spreads as he closes his eyes.
She cannot help but fear destruction,
As a drop of rain falls,so does her gaze.
In rapture of the pain her heart skips a beat.
As the terrential down pour continues,
He breaks to a stop.
As she slowly grabs her things she wispers "I love you" on last time,
Having barely closed the door,he speeds away,
Leaving her there in the heavy down pour,
An unspoken reflection on wht was once had is lost in trepedation.
Death has come.
2.
And so in this moment at last,
She will try to forget her clandestine past,
She will walk from his arms,
Into a cloister of her own,
Taking on the charm that has left her alone,
Thriving to see her own defeat,
Once she falls she will slowly be beat,
In anger,
In sadness,
She will slowly fall.

3. Into a dream he falls,
The defeat she has presented him calls,
A cold awareness of where he lies,
Causes him to open his swollen eyes.
In her presence he has now become austere,
Pulling away from her words that tear.
With these spurious dreams he slowly dies,
Dreaming days and dreaming nights.
"For they who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who only dream by night,"
Her stoic demeanor will drive him away,
Into ination he will sway.

4. Standing here,
Falling so gently never hurt so much,
Why is this pain wind breaking my heart?
So swiftly I'm carried to a moment of ethereal bliss,
Silently wasting away.
Flickering in and out I am unaware,
Panic spreads over,
And then follows dispare,
As I pallidy awaken,
You gesture to free this heart that has been taken.
I fall into you,
And I quicly stand on my own,
Strength was all I needed.

Beach Evening

The other night I decided that I would go to the beach...I took pictures, here they are:

Results are in

Ok so all this ignoring my blog has gone to good use. I had my first exams this past week, and I got the rest of my grades today.
Here they are:
PE: 91%
Art History: 100% !!!!!!!
Western Civ: 94%
and Finally
(drum roll please)
a 93% in Psychology....it may not sound great, but I have the highest grade in my class!!
I am so excited.
Oh and these arent all my classes I have Design I and English 111 too.
I am accomplishing my goals! They are maintain all A's and attend all classes. I am finaly proud of my self for something.

UGH!

Ok guys! I have been so busy, and when i finally have more time i'll post a blog and update, I just wanted to let you know that I havent forgotten about this!!

(None)

About me:I'm Katie. I never seem to run out of things to say. As of now: My life is a whirlwind, but I hug it like a harmless little tree. Its and earthquake, but I calm it. I need a new town to leave all this behind. I'm not interested in being someone else anymore. I'm not interested in being someones priority, I'm interested in Being my own. "How many lovers would stay, just to put up with this everyday and all day???" My greatest desire is to get out and be what I've always dreamed and wanted for myself.

Never know

I am so incredibly happy. Its weird to not be sad and depressed anymore....but its amazing to feel this content and at was. I was thinking last night wondering why I was feeling this, but then I decided I dont want to know! I dont want to ruin it or have it taken away!!!! I love it!!

Pictures I love

I love my sis so much!! I can't wait to see her this weekend!

It took me some time

But now and I am strong. There is no need for me to cry anymore. I've got myself to look after..I've got myself to be strong for. I've found strength and courage in that for the first time..I'm used to looking for that in other people, but now I've found it in myself.

Poem

"Subconsciously Written"
By. me
Hidden in this captive place,
A memory she cannot erase.
All the words fall short
,They leave undefined the way she feels inside.
He corrects her where she lies,
Hiding under this beautiful wicked disguise.
Deception is not always truth,
It is all that lies beneath her.

Toxic Town

This town is only fool* of liars. All thats left are the people who have bad intentions. All thats left are people like her. I am better than that. I am not a liar, stealer or cheat. I am a beautiful honest person.

I want..no I need to get out of this place.


* Spelled this way intentionally

P.S. Love you Momma and Daddy! I wish I was in the Holy City..I would feel better

The Mask

"Mask"
"The mask she wears covers who she really is from the rest of the world,
No emotion on her sleeve,
This covers all of them.
With tears in her eyes she hides away from those around her,
She lets go of every word,
As if it has no meaning.
Her heart cannot take it anymore.
She uses this cache to veil that which she really is,
Falling into this diguise,
She allows no one to view her soul.
Concealment is her goal,
This facade secretly accompanies her.
The rest of the world drives on,
Simply unaware of this disappearing beauty.
Where tears once stood,
She can only provide empty eyes.
Where a smile once formed,
Her lips become death-like.
No emotions.

Summer '07 is over in 1 day

This summer is coming to an end. I start school tomorrow morning at 9am with a Western Civ class! So exciting! I am a little nervous, because this is such a new experience for me, but the unknown aspect of it intrigues me.

This summer has been filled with many new adventures, and many beautiful days. I have grown a lot, and also learned much about myself and the people around me. I has been a rough summer.

But college for me is a fresh start, and I am optimistic about the out come.

I'd like to thank my Momma for getting me this far in school, she is the most intelligent woman I know. Until recently I never realized how blessed I was to have her as my teacher all these years. She prepared me for things and situations I never thought I would met, but when they came about having here knowledge helped me through. Thank you Momma.

I'd like to thank my Daddy for his sense of humor, because even though we may not always get along or agree on things(boys in particular) you are always there to make laugh, which I would be lost without! It nice to have someone there like you who is just obsessed with Harry Potter as I am. Thank you for sharing your stories of the struggles you have been through, because I even though I may not fully appreciate it now, one day when I look back at what I've gone through I'll know that all that stregth came from you. You are Batman :)

P.S. I know I'm not smarter that you :)

I'd like to thank my sister, Baby Girl as Momma Calls her. She has stuck by me through everything. She's my best friend, I would dissapear without her.

I'd like to thank Jon. He is the coolest cook I know. He is one of the funniest people I know, and also one of the most talented!

And last but not least, Andy Roo. My insanity in the family(though, we are all a little crazy!) Whenever I want to have a goo time, I find my little man!

My family is my rock.

I feel

I feel like a huge weight and dissapointment to everyone in my life. I feel like I am in everyone elses way of success. And instead of people listening to what I want for myself they are to busy telling me that they now what I want(even though they don't) and they know and want whats best for me(which i dont disagree with). I am so emotionally tired and drained of this. I can't make anyone happy. I wish I could just work on what make me happy, which is my art, but its just not happening.
I wish that instead of people telling me that I'm wrong they could help me in a more positive way. I need that.
But as of this moment..I am my only influence, and I am going to work on making myself happy.

Momma Bear's Birthday!

Todays is Momma's Birthday!

My mother is probably one of the most inspiring people I know. Seeing all that she has accomplished, and yet she strives for more. She has sacrificed so mush for her family and her children. She is also a great companion! Who else could I jump in the car with and go on and edwin weekend with the girls? She is always there handing out the greatest advice, teaching me all that she has learned, making me laugh so hard in Hechts playing with the mannaquins and there underwear, or humoring me when I discover Spotted dick, and supporting me in everything I do.

I dont know what I would do with out my momma! I love you momma! Happy Birthday!

Momma and I at the Bowling Alley

In the Kitchen whipping up something amazing!

At Angel Oak with Dad.

Momma and Christianne

Mom and I in the Mountains

A fun night at Hechts with mom!

I think this speaks for itself!